Thursday, August 19, 2010

Bands That Suck Balls: GREEN DAY


I think it's a pretty obvious point that money and a band's popularity can have a huge impact on a band's musical direction. Generally this concept relates to the idea that bands have to sell out a little bit to make it to the big time. Yeah your music is cool but you're gonna have clean up your look and write a catchy ballad so that girls will buy your records. Sometimes however, a band makes it to the big time on the merit of their music. A couple of fun loving guys write catchy rock songs people can relate to, and sell a billion records in the process. Often however, these fun loving guys upon reaching the mainstream, realize that they now have a public forum to spew their opinion on everyone and everything. They get so far up their own asses, that they believe the platinum album sales plaque in their home gives them the right to have a political agenda and tell you what's wrong with America. Worse yet...they decide to WRITE SONGS about their warped political views. No band is a more prime example of this phenomenon than This Week's Band That Suck Balls: GREEN DAY.

Look I owned "Dookie" when I was a kid. That CD kicked ass and you're lying if you claim you didn't like it. Every kid had this record. To quote Wayne's World: "If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of Tide." Green Day burst onto the scene in the mid 90's with "Dookie" because all of the songs were just infectious catchy 3 minute punk rock jams that kids couldn't help but love. All of the songs on "Dookie" were basically about the trials and tribulations of the teenage loser. You smoked pot all day, wished your parents would stop nagging you about getting a job, and just wanted to "Live the Dream." You related to "Dookie." You and your first girlfriend used to rock out to Green Day before heading to the mall to buy new Airwalks together.

Then Green Day kinda dropped off the map for a little while. They continued to have a following and sell a good amount of records, but didn't come out with anything that came close to approaching the success of "Dookie." Then I remember Green Day really appearing on my radar again at the end of the millenium when they released that fucking "Time of Your Life" song that was the theme song to EVERYONE'S graduation. "Awww!! High School's over!! :( I hope you had the time of your life. Lets all hold hands and sing along to this shitty Green Day acoustic ballad." Jesus Christ I hate this song. For that matter I hate every high school "senior song." (Yeah Eve 6 you and your shitbag song "Here's to the Night" can also go die a slow and painful death somewhere). What is sad about leaving high school? You're now going to college which is actually gonna be the "Time of Your Life." So how bout we stop lamenting the end of 12th grade, while listening to Green Day and celebrate not having to see any of these assholes again.

Anyways, other than that shitty "Senior Song" Green Day didn't release too much annoying music until Post-9/11. At this point they decided that they would join the parade of rock stars and movie stars that were publically voicing their disapproval of the Bush administration. (Yeah great you think George W. Bush is a shitty president. Thanks, how original so does everybody.) Except Green Day decided that they would write an entire "concept rock opera" about the Bush Administration and what's wrong with America entitled "American Idiot." This album blew up on the charts and was obviously critically acclaimed across the media spectrum. I mean why wouldn't it be? Music and media critics are all braindead liberals that blindly blow anybody that criticizes the Republican Party. You could not turn on the radio without hearing a shitty Green Day single on the radio. The first single was of course "DON'T WANNA BE AN AMEEEERICAN IDIOT!!" This at least kinda sounded like a Green Day punk song, but frankly if you don't want to be an American idiot you can just get the fuck out of my country and move to Finland Green Day.

Then Green Day started releasing a series of emotional 6 minute ballads about September ending and walking alone on Boulevards of Broken Dreams. These songs were awful. Why are you walking on a Boulevard of broken dreams Green Day? It seems to me you are living your dream of being a group of self righteous rock star assholes. I'd rather not wake you up "Wheeeen September Ends" I'd much rather you wake me up when this fucking nightmare of a song is over. I actually went to a Green Day concert a couple of years ago. I figured "hey they gotta play a bunch of stuff from Dookie at least since those are their biggest hits, this should be tolerable." Yeah they played like 3 songs from "Dookie." The rest of the setlist was spent with the band jamming out their "Rock-Opera" hits with various clips of political propaganda on a big screen behind them. We left early, before getting the opportunity to hold hands and cry to the inevevitable show closer "Time of your Life."

Basically Green Day, you should just go back to writing catchy 3 minute rock anthems. That's what you're good at. You have fucking dyed hair, I don't need to listen to you rant on what direction our nation is headed in. You made it big singing about lying on your mom's couch all day stoned and masterbating. Now you write pompous rock opera concept albums. Well your rock operas fucking blow. I hope you've had the time of your life and proceed to stop writing shitty music ASAP.

15 comments:

  1. I couldn't have written this better if I tried. Well done sir.

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    1. Don't tell me,let me guess;you're some a**-kisser for the "Re-
      Thuglicans who,should W.M. Romney,that selfish,spoiled high school bully/corporate raider swine,defeat Pres. Obama,will,along with his likely allies in the GOP,further enrich the one percent of filthy rich overlords and the expense of the other 99 percent-INCLUDING YOU,YOU DUMB A**-CLOWN!!!!

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    2. I like Green Day, but I still agree.

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  2. I love how we're supposed to take the political advise from a 40 year old man who dyes his hair and wears mascara seriously

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  3. I think what you're looking for is: stop, drop 'n roll from the foxboro hot tubs. (a Green Day side project) The song i mean, the other two singles from the album where a bit disappointing after this one... but still, it's good to know these guys haven't disappeared too far up their own asses to be capable of rocking out.

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  4. Reed S.,I'd rather take political advice from a 40-year-old man who dyes his hair and wears mascara than be governed by a 65-year-old Blaine doll-Blaine is Bar-
    bie's handsome new Aussie boyfriend-who bullied gay kids in high school as a prelude to his raiding companies,laying off workers and enriching stockholders
    beyond EVER THEIR wildest dreams of avarice!!!!

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    1. Jesus, shut the fuck up you fucking douchebag. Typical fucking extreme left wing liberal nutjob. Aren't liberals supposed to be open-minded? Apparently not since every single one I've met takes the stance of "if you don't vote democrat you hate gays, support big business and hate poor people". People like you are so out of touch that you honestly think all rich people are republicans. GET A FUCKING CLUE. Is it really a shock to you that someone would want to vote against the president who has ruined our country for the last 3 1/2 years? DUMBASS!

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  5. ok you're argument about wake me up when september ends is stupid
    it is a tribute to billie joe's father who died of cancer

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  6. The song's name is not time of your life. It's Good Riddance. It's meant to be a sarcastic breakup song, just that most people misinterpreted it. I don't have much to say about Boulevard because I don't really like it either. Wake Me Up When September Ends is about his father's death. And it looks like you only listened to the hits of that album. Letterbomb and Whatsername are really good.

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  7. Sir, I must be older than you. I never owned "Dookie" and never planned to....to my mind, it sucked...and badly, although not as bad as Avril Lavigne and her so-called "guitar-driven punk rock". Shut up Avril, you're pop! You play for little 12 and 13 year olds! You had to coerce the Jonas brothers to go on tour with you to attract ticket sales! You're a poster child for Hot Topic and this does not make you punk! And worst of all, you married the lead singer of Nickelback! And then divorced him so I suppose that's some credit for you. But you are still not punk. And neither is Green Day. Listen to the Dead Kennedys or anything by Jello...that's punk. Or Babes in Toyland. By the way, could you dedicate an article to Avril?

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  8. This entire argument sounds like someone really doesn't like music that has meanings behind the lyrics. Green Day is one of the most popular bands to ever exist, and their influence kept punk rock and honestly rock n' roll alive throughout the 2000's when Justin Timberlake and artists of those sorts came pouring out of the woodwork and infecting my generation with that sound. I can't stand today's music, it's not music, these people have terrible voices and the computer behind the sound booth is making sure they sound amazing. Long live punk rock!

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  9. Green day was tolerable till all the bullshit political stuff and the fact they openly view themselves as a better band than led zep. Cry babies that wear make up is how I look at them now. Now days, I change the station before I hear any of their repetitious crap

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    1. Green Day isn't repetitive, Zep aren't the GOAT band.

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  10. What a dumbass fucking retarded blog post, seriously, are you sure you're even old enough to be on the internet? Let alone go to a Green Day concert? Let alone be alive long enough to have ever owned a CD of dookie? Let alone be alive long enough to have ever owned a CD? You sound like one of those bullshit millenials that listen to emo shit like MCR and Linkin Park and then talk about how bad other bands are. Get a life you fatass mcnugget eating kid. You probably weren't even born when Green Day made dookie.

    Also, you have no fucking idea what Time of your life is actually talking about, its actually a sarcastic song and the reason its so popular is because its one of the most genius written songs ever. The only problem is your dumbass can't understand that and instead you just want to hear a bunch of dumbasses scream on the microphone and call that "music" instead of well thought-out lyrics and powerful songs that Green Day makes all the time. You probably watch stuff like 2012 pewdiepie or some shit like that. Get a life, dumbass.

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  11. You sound like n old fuck. Girls LISTEN to this suck balls Green Day you call it. In fact to newer albums more than dookie. In fact we love it. And if you think they write only about politics I have to tell you you have no big brainz - wait you don't even have to have that big to understand their lyrics which have a lot of fucking meaning tho.
    You just want that mainstream cute ass pop music that every trash on earth listens to. And DONT YOU FUCKING JUDGE WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS ITS A SONG ABOUT BILLIE'S DAD DYING.
    Stop judging and get a life asshole.

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