Friday, July 23, 2010

Obvious Subject of a Hollywood bio-pic (To me only)

Yesterday in scanning the internets, I came across the news that there is a new Janis Joplin bio-pic in the works with Amy Adams being cast in the lead role. First of all, who was in charge of THAT casting? Amy Adams?? The cute girl next door from The Office, and the princess movie...? I don't really picture her being too believable as a Southern Comfort chugging, acid queen train wreck. Not to mention Janis Joplin was ugly as hell. Somebody decidedly more hideous looking probably would have worked better, such as say Sarah Jessica Parker (if she had acting talent).

Anyways, this is far from the first time a legendary dead musician's story has been taken to the big screen. Oliver Stone's "The Doors" was the first really famous one I remember. In recent times they've been all the rage ever since Jamie Foxx of "In Living Color" and "Booty Call" fame managed to win an Oscar after magically gettting thrown into the role of Ray Charles. Oscar darling "Walk the Line" followed bringing the story of Johnny Cash to theaters. Soon everybody was making bio-pics. There was "Notorious" about dead rapper Notorious B.I.G. There was "The Runaways" about....Joan Jett's all female punk group (who fucking green-lighted that one..?). Now there is talk that Kurt Cobain, Jerry Garcia, and the aforementioned Janis Joplin will all be getting their life stories put on the big screen. This all leaves me wondering WHERE THE FUCK IS THE JIMI HENDRIX BIO-PIC?!?

Seriously am I missing something here? Jimi Hendrix may have been the coolest rock star EVER. The guy defined "cool." Not to mention the fact that he was you know...the most influential guitarist ever and a musical genius. Hendrix definitely had a far greater impact on music during his brief stay on this earth, than ANY of the people getting bio-pic treatment that I just mentioned. His versatile catalog would make up an AWESOME movie soundtrack. Lets face it though, none of those aforementioned artists got movies made about their lives based on the merit of their music. Or their lasting influence. All these people's stories made it to the big screen because their LIVES were interesting. Namely they went through crazy circumstances to make it to the top and lived life to the fullest once they got there (Namely being drug addled trainwrecks that stumbled though life).

Well HELLO. Jimi Hendrix's story was MADE for the big screen. Jimi didn't mail in a demo or get discovered by a record exec at a club. No. How did he make it? The guy randomly decided to move to London in the late 60's without a cent to his name, just so he could meet and jam with the world's most renowned guitarist (Cream's Eric Clapton) in front of England's rock royalty and blow him out of the water onstage with his own mind-blowing skills. And then just like that he was an overnight superstar and changing the world of rock and roll forever. That is INSANE. That'd be like if some random kid from Europe nobody had ever heard of came to America, requested to play one on one against Lebron James and then destroyed him with an array of 360 between the legs dunks the likes of which nobody had ever seen. Pretty fucking cool story.

And I think Jimi had the whole rock and roll trainwreck requirement down. The guy was constantly on an excess of at least 4 substances, and partied so hard that his brilliant musical career lasted a whopping total of three years. Yeah I mean Ray Charles and Johnny Cash loved to get fucked up, but hey they lived to have grandkids. They didn't go balls to the wall and burn out at 27. Also Jimi Hendrix's persona was also tailor-made for Hollywood interpretation. The guy wore the most ridiculous rock outfits I have ever seen. "Uh yeah I think I will go with the purple pants, orange blouse, and green bandana for tonight's gig." Ok Jimi. He had an awesome laid back, smooth jive talking way about him that made ladies swoon for a guy whose appearance could only be described as "psychadelic hobo."

Long story short, this movie needs to be made. And not into some shitty made for tv picture (see above). No, I want a legitimate Hollywood director, and Hollywood cast to make a REAL bio-pic about this musical icon. He deserves it. I'm pretty sure've run out of other shitty dead rock "legends" to make movies about. Nobody wants to see a film about the lead singer of INXS folks. So give Jimi his due.


  1. BEST. RANT. YET. I submit, for whomever would like to join, going to the new Cobain movie (sneaking in as to limit any potential revenue stream) and giving a standing O when Cobain blows his untalented head off.

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