Friday, November 26, 2010

Friday Afternoon Rad Jam

Generally my Friday Afternoon Rad Jam selections are throwback jams from back in the day. Songs from an era where Rock and Roll was actually Rad as opposed to totally lame. There are however, still occasionally bands that emerge in modern times that actually rock your balls off. Bands that are not content with the current stagnant state of the music world, where our airwaves are overrun with dipshits bands that label themselves "rock." Unfortunately, if a band is actually awesome they aren't generally going to be found on your major city's rock station. You won't find them selling out a nationwide arena rock tour. Instead they are relegated to playing bars and clubs, paying their dues until the day tarrives when rock music once again decides to return to its roots of being Rad. You see unlike the good ol' days, now if your band kicks ass they are probably simply too Rad for the mainstream to handle. Well this week I am going to give some exposure to a definitively Rad band that needs to make it to the big time. This week's Friday Afternoon Rad Jam: COLOSSUS: KILL MORE BETTER.

Colossus is ridiculously Rad. First of all note their name. "COLOSSUS" One signature epic word. What a concept. Clearly this band was too focused on melting your face with their overload of shreddage to come up with some clever hipster name for their band like The Rainbow Eel Suitcases or some similar bullshit. No just keep it simple, just like their awesomely badass music. You know how if you look up the info on a modern band their is some elaborate description of their sound that is just a roundabout way of saying they suck balls? "We're an electro-drums alternative trio that combines hip-hop, jazz and acoustic funk into a fusion sound." Oh cool so you suck, good talk. Colossus on the other describes their band thusly:

"The Six mini-Colossoi are slaves to the power of the lord Poseidon, and must do his bidding. He commands us to rock unsuspecting youth in your bars and houses, drinking your beer and crushig your skulls with thundering beats, baroque polyphony, galloping basses, and soaring vocals. -- All of which testify to the awesome power of mighty Poseidon."

In other words: Totally Fucking Rad. A couple buddies and I discovered Colossus when we were down in North Carolina over the summer. The previous evening we had gotten a little too Rad at my friend's family beachhouse and nearly burned it to the ground, so we decided it was safer to go out in public and check out the beach town's bar scene. We logically decided that a bar named "The Whiskey" was the best option for cheap booze and general avoidance of frat douchebags. Upon walking into The Whiskey our eardrums were immediately shattered by the epic metal of the mighty Colossus. Who were these guys?? They had three LEAD guitarists shredding onstage. Power drums and thundering basslines. A singer that wails. Where did they get off being so fucking Rad? We were hooked on their sound instantly and have been super fans ever since. Whenever Colossus is in the area for a show we check them out and are never disappointed. Colossus is so cool, that even when you see them play after a number of months they recognize their Rad fans. "Oh yeah you're AC/DC guy and Van Halen shirt dude." (Rad dudes instantly recognize and acknowledge other Rad dudes at all times.)

Colossus' debut album "Colossus...And The Rift of The Pan-Dimensional Undergods" totally rocked. I would recommend checking out "Willow" and "Limit Break" as personal favorites on their first CD. This year they released their second EP "Drunk on Blood" which was even more Rad and even got them a well-deserved spot on Itunes. For this week's Rad Jam I have selected their smash hit Rad Jam: Kill More Better. I obviously have a personal appreciation for this track's subject matter since it is all about signing up for an army that combats ghouls during the zombie apocalypse. I often bitch about modern rock bands that have totally lame lyrical content that doesn't focus on Booze, Drugs, and hot chicks. Well you can avoid these subjects in your music if you're singing about totally epic topics like mythical creatures, medieval warfare, and the slaughtering of zombies. Aka stuff that is totally Rad. I assume Colossus is somewhere devouring giant turkey drumsticks with their bare hands, crushing beers, and planning the recording of their next Rad masterpiece as we speak. So do them a favor and spend the rest of your Thanksgiving weekend blasting this jam as loud as possible. Poseidon wouldn't want it any other way.

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